


Psychos In Love

by thorkiship18



Series: One-Shots [48]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assassins & Hitmen, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dark Comedy, Destruction, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Face Punching, Fights, Fist Fights, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Killing, M/M, Psychic Abilities, Psychic Violence, Secret Organizations, Strength, Swearing, Telekinesis, The Author Regrets Nothing, Top Jensen Ackles, What Have I Done, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-13 09:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13567965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkiship18/pseuds/thorkiship18
Summary: Jared has been running for quite some time.Jensen has been searching for Jared for six months.They finally see each other again, and violence ensues.





	1. Psychos In Love

**Author's Note:**

> I like this kind of shit lol. Enjoy, guys!

As he lays down on the cheap, motel bed, Jared thinks on all the decisions he's made so far. Jesus Christ, he's made some seriously fucked up decisions. He didn't exactly have a choice in most of them, not in the slightest. But the decisions in which he had a say, a choice...well, he fucked those up big time. Shit, Jared might as well be a beacon for heartbreak and bullshit.

He's out here, in the middle of nowhere, finally relaxing. He has finished doing what he came here to do, and now Jared's just waiting for the cash to be transferred to his account. The guy put up a hell of a fight against him, but now he's dead, throat slashed clean. No evidence of Jared even being there. He was trained to do this kind of stuff since he was able to say his first words.

They were, ironically, "Fuck You."

Jared begins to drift off to sleep in his clothes with the light still on, but he quickly sits up when he hears three knocks at the door. He pulls his gun out from under the pillow, quickly getting up to stand. The shaggy carpet feels stale, but warm underneath of his bare feet. Jared grips the gun tight while simultaneously inching towards the door. Could be an enemy seeking a reprisal, or the child of a dead target looking for revenge.

This life has some long lasting co sequences. Jared doesn't kill children...but he had to defend himself when a victim's teenage son tracked him down, and snuck into his hotel room while he showered. The boy was angered that Jared killed his father, and tried to kill him in turn. Jared had hopped out of the shower with no towel, soaking wet, sensing trouble.

He and the boy fought, destroying most of the hotel room. Jared won though, shooting the poor kid in his head. It fucking sucked, and Jared sees his face every time he dreams. That kid didn't deserve to die that night, but it was kill or be killed. It was a horrible position to be in. Fucking Christ...

Eventually, Jared gets to the door. Without looking through the peephole, he opens it, pointing his gun at the person on the other side. It's someone who he hasn't seen in a long time, someone he's been running from as well. It's a man who grins brightly at him, even with a gun pointed directly at his head.

Jensen FUCKING Ackles.

Once-best friend, past boyfriend, best man at his wedding, now ex-best friend.

Jared lowers the gun, frowning. This is not good.

"Hey, Jay! Long time, no see. Wanna let me in--?"

Jared promptly slams and locks the door in his face, sighing deeply. Yeah, this isn't what he needed today. After all this time, Jensen shows up here? Now? Ugh, this is gonna suck! Jared is aware that a simple door won't keep him out, so he walks back to the bed quickly, sitting up against the headboard.

As if on cue, the motel door is kicked down, and Jensen steps in, still grinning that bright smile. Jared crosses his arms over his chest. He rolls his eyes, thinking of how he'll have to leave soon because of the damn door. Jensen steps over the door, looking down at it with an amused expression. He picks it up soon, and leans it on the wall before walking over to the mini fridge to grab a beer.

"I'll leave a few bucks for them so they can fix it," He says, popping the cap on the bottle. "You don't have to pay."

Jared snorts. "I wasn't going to. Why are you here, Jensen?"

Jensen winks at him, drinking. "Why do you think I'm here? I came to find you. You're a slippery little thing, aren't you?"

"Go away. I don't want to talk to you."

"Oh, Jared, stop it. You're still mad at me?"

"Of fucking course I am! You killed my wife!"

"You're really gonna hang that over my head? It's been six months, man. You gotta get over it. She was a bitch."

"Oh my--You shot her in the _face_ , Jensen!"

"She tried to _kill_  you, Jared." Jensen scoffs, downing the last of his beer. "Some assassin you are. And besides, I did you a favor. You never loved Genevieve. Let's be real, okay? I was all you ever needed. I love you."

Jared shakes his head, rising up from the bed again. "You're fucking insane. You are out of your fucking mind."

"Am I? You still love me, I know you do."

The taller assassin attempts to leave the room, but Jensen grabs his arm. Jared strikes out, punching him hard in the face. Jensen's head whips to the side, but he fights back against Jared, headbutting him fiercely. Jared stumbles backwards. He holds his head in pain, and Jensen spits out blood on the carpet, grinning like the infamous Cheshire Cat. His teeth are stained red, but dammit, he's as handsome as ever.

Jared and Jensen's relationship goes way back to their childhood. They grew up in the compound together, going through the same rigorous, soul destroying, painful training program. "Psychos", they're called, injected with a special serum that enhances their strength, perception, and mental capabilities. While Jared was the brains in their youth, manipulating the environment against his enemies, Jensen was the muscle, knocking down much more than creaky motel doors.

Psychos were raised to be killers, ruthlessly slaughtering their targets without much remorse. Psychos are bred using women that no one will miss; Jared was told that his mother was a prostitute on the verge of using drugs to cope. Hmph. Then, after the children are born, the women are killed so they can't blather on about the dastardly experiments conducted by the scientists and doctors in the compound.

Jared and Jensen were the top 2 assassins in the compound, going out on their first missions at the age of 11. They were already best friends by that time, but as they grew into their teens, their relationship evolved. Jensen fucked Jared into the mattress in their shared dorm, not caring if anyone had heard. When they were old enough to leave, they moved in together, screwing like rabbits. Their mentor, Eric Kripke, thought they'd end up together, killing their enemies to their hearts content.

It wasn't to be.

After a falling out, Jared and Jensen separated, and Jared met Genevieve. She was everything he needed, a distraction. In some way, she reminded him of Jensen, and he fell in love with her. In no time, they were engaged to marry. Jared tracked Jensen down, boldly asking if his ex-boyfriend would be his best friend and best man at his wedding. Jensen agreed, but only if he could make love to Jared one last time. Well, they had sex (again and again and again and again), and that was that.

The wedding went on as planned. Jared got married, and Jensen got his best friend back. Everything was (kinda) back to normal. But then...Jensen did what he did.

Apparently. Genevieve was a rival assassin sent in to befriend and seduce Jared. He came home one night to find her cooking dinner, ya know, normal married stuff. The next thing Jared knows, he's getting a barrage of knives thrown at him. He anticipated the attack, but it was still no less surprising. Jared and Genevieve fought for what seemed like hours, him deflecting most attacks, and her nimbly dodging anything his.

She finally caught him off guard, preparing to execute him. Jared was saved when Jensen burst through the window, shooting Genevieve directly in her  _fucking face!_  Needless to say, Jared was equal parts horrified, relieved, and angered. Of course, Jensen defended himself, saying that his wife was going to kill him. Jared couldn't accept nor understand the situation properly, so he fled.

Away from Jensen.

And now they're here, face to face, fighting each other in a brutal display of power.

Jared growls, coughing as Jensen tosses him against the wall. Dammit, he almost forgot how strong this motherfucker was, and Jensen's not even utilizing his full abilities.

"You're holding back on me, Jackles." Jared grunts, smiling.

Jensen cracks his neck. "I have to, or else I could crush your bones in one blow."

"You always were mindful of your strength."

"Only when it came to you, of course."

"No doubt." Soon, Jared recovers. He concentrates on Jensen briefly, and the shorter assassin is thrown back, breaking the small table in the kitchen area.

Jensen chuckles, quickly getting up and dusting himself off. "My boy's still got it."

"I'm not your boy, Jensen."

"Yeah, you are. You always were. Come e're. Gimme a hug and a kiss."

"I got your kiss right here, baby."

"Come to daddy, Jay."

Jared smirks, running at Jensen. He tackles him to the ground, destroying more of the motel's property. He only gets two good punches on the guy before the tables are turned. Jensen headbutts Jared again, making him moan in annoyance. He falls back, clutching his head. His brain rattles. Jensen straddles him, pinning his hands above his head.

"Again with the fucking headbutts!? Getting a little stale there, Jackles."

Jensen smiles down at him. "You look so beautiful like this under me, vulnerable, and stubborn as ever. Come home with me, Jared. I miss you."

"And you're so handsome above me, insane as usual, and delightfully chipper for a man with 400 confirmed kills under his belt."

"410. I've been doing some work while tracking you down. Fun stuff. The last guy had a brother, so I guess 411. Anyways...hey, babe. How are you doing? Eating well? You look a little thin."

Jared rolls his eyes, pushing Jensen up until he hits the ceiling, landing back on the floor with a hard thud. Jared goes over to him, putting his arm behind his back in submission. It feels familiar, very nostalgic. They used to spar everyday, fighting each other in a friendly way. Now they're fighting to hurt. At least Jared is. Jensen's not hitting as hard as he is.

Jensen breaks free, and the two Psychos fight for control in the motel room. If they weren't holding back, there would absolutely be no motel. Everything would be destroyed, and everyone within a 2 mile radius would perish. Horribly. Hey, when they fight others, they fight rough and hard.

Hehe.

Rough.

Hard.

Get it?

Oh, screw you.

After punching each other for ten more minutes, the fight ends with both of them pointing a gun at the other, huffing and puffing. Jared frowns with a gash on his forehead, and Jensen stares at him with a mouth full of blood (once again) and a split bottom lip. In a strange way, Jared feels incredibly happy. Happy as in he's excited to be releasing all this pent up anger and energy. When he looks into Jensen's darling, emerald green eyes, Jared becomes uncertain.

He wavers, searching his brain for some kind of reassurance. Realistically, he realizes that he can never kill Jensen. He loves him, of course he can't. Jensen has been through it all with Jared; he was his first.

So, Jared shakes, struggling to hold up the gun. Jensen hums.

"You're an idiot, Jay."

"Jen," Jared chuckles dryly. "You _really_  don't wanna do this with me right now."

"Yeah, I do." Jensen says, lowering his own gun. He drops it to the floor, kicking it away. He holds up his hands in surrender. "I do, Jared. You're an idiot."

"Son of a bitch--"

"You're an idiot because you ran away from your problems instead of facing them. I _killed_  Genevieve, Jay. I killed her because she would've offed your dumb ass first! I saved your life, and you ran away from me! You hurt me more than any punch or fucking gunshot wound!"

Jared shouts, shooting the wall in anger. He cries. His hot tears worm out of his eyes and down his cheeks.

"Yeah, go ahead and scream!" Jensen yells back, approaching him. "Fucking scream your problems away. See where that gets ya! Feels damn good though, doesn't it!?"

"What the Hell are you yelling at me for!?" Jared sobs.

"Because I fucking love you, you moron! That's what people do when they care about each other! You're most definitely the dumbest smart person I've ever fallen in love with, but, Jesus Fuck, you're perfect. Now, would you please drop the goddamn gun, and fucking kiss me?"

Dammit.

He's too good. Jared can feel himself losing this mental battle. Jensen has points--excellent points. He likes to pretend that he's not very smart, but Jensen's very wise. Always has been. Finally, Jared lowers the gun, and it slips from his hand to the floor. He looks down, crying, tears dropping to the fucked up carpet. When he feels Jensen's hands on his hips, Jared doesn't push him away. He feels him unbuckling his pants, and the taller assassin scoffs.

"Sex always made you feel better." Jensen whispers, kissing his neck and fondling him through his underwear. "Chin up, Jay. I'm here to take care of you."

"Jen..." Jared croaks out.

"That's a name I haven't heard in a while. I love you, Jared. Come back home. Please."

"Jensen, I..." Jared licks his lips, surrendering all control. "Kiss me. Please kiss me. I'll come back."

It's all over at that point. Jensen grabs his face, kissing him deeply and fiercely. Jared wraps his arms around him as Jensen helps him step out of his pants. The green eyed man backs him up towards the wall, pushing him. The force doesn't kill Jared, but it leaves cracks in the wall. Jared grins, watching Jensen shed his shirt before his mouth is reclaimed by him.

Damn, he's missed this!

Concentrating, Jared pushes Jensen on his back on the bed. Jensen laughs, biting his lip seductively. Jared rushes to him practically ripping off his own shirt. Soon, they're on each other, groping and sucking and kissing to their heart's content. But, as they start to shed their clothes, a family of four walks by their room, curious of the sounds from earlier. The mother tries her best to cover up the eyes of her children as the father stares in shock. Jensen shouts at them.

"Hey, this isn't a damn show! Get the fuck outta here!"

The family scurries away, most likely rushing back to their room or getting the Hell outta dodge. Jensen doesn't seem to care, and neither does Jared for that matter. Jared puts both hands on his face, thumb sweeping under Jensen's left eye that he blackened.

"So crude."

Jensen smirks. "You wanna see crude? I'll show you crude."

"Shut the fuck up, and fuck me, Jen."

Jensen was his first.

His first friend.

His first love.

His first heartbreak.

His first mistake.

His first betrayal.

And now...his first shot at redemption.

Jared isn't Psychic (technically), he can't see into the future (it's complicated), but he knows that wherever he decides to go from here, Jensen will follow him.

Jensen will _always_  follow him.


	2. Psychos In Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen fight through some assholes. 
> 
> It's gory. 
> 
> Bloody. 
> 
> Oh, and it's sexy too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I love writing this so much!

_Code Red. Code Red. Intruder Alert. Intruder Alert. All personnel to Sector 7. All personnel to Sector 7._

Jared looks to Jensen in slight anger. Jensen grins at him coyly. "Umm...oops?"

He triggered the goddamn alarms in the goddamn facility. That's just perfect. The lights flash bright red, and there's a siren blaring above them. Well, this is a fine mess they've gotten themselves into. Jared supposes that he's partially to blame for this as well. He should've kept a closer eye on their surroundings too. This is a joint mission, so the blame doesn't entirely rest on Jensen's shoulders.

His broad, strong, muscular, sexy--okay, okay, Jared. You're off track. Reel it back in, hon.

Anyways, as you can see, Jared and Jensen are together. It's only been a month since their encounter in the motel room, and they've been inseparable ever since, just like the old days. Jared returned home with Jensen (as he promised), and they picked up the fractured pieces, attending counseling. Yes, they're in couple's counseling, and are sorta-kinda engaged to be married. It's cute, I know.

"I really hope we don't die here." Jared sighs, holding his pistol tight.

"Come on now, Jared Tristan," Jensen smirks. "Have a little faith. Besides, you know it takes more than a few bullets to keep us down for good."

"Don't jinx it."

"My lips are sealed...and soon to be around your cock."

Jared scoffs, rolling his eyes. He smiles though, silently laughing. Jensen's a jokester, he can't help it, it's who he is. No matter where they are--in a fight, or drinking sloppily in public with each other--Jensen always has a few wisecracks up his sleeve. Jared used to do the same. He's getting back into the groove of things now. He had almost forgotten how much fun it was to be around Jensen, how he brought the light to everything he touched.

Yet those same hands could destroy beyond repair.

The pair of Psychos run through the long corridors, anticipating a fight. It's a large facility, but not nearly as huge as the one they infiltrated last week. Man, that was a fucking trip. Their target was a dangerous man hellbent on causing a nuclear holocaust, kinda like this one now... You know, some real super villain shit. Obviously, they thwarted his evil plans, feeling like heroes.

They aren't heroes, not in the slightest. They're just two men with exceptional abilities that take out men and women who are deemed threats...for money. Nothing particularly heroic about this shit, is it? Soon, they both come across some guards of the facility, heavily armed. Their guns are big, and their protective gear seems to cover important parts, though Jared can see blind spots in their armor. He silently relays the message to Jensen who smiles at them.

"That's some impressive hardware, boys." Jensen fake compliments them.

Jared subtly reaches behind him for his second pistol, concealed in the holster on the waistband of his pants. "Yeah, that's some of the goodshit. We have that kind of stuff back at home though."

"Jay, let's show them that bigger isn't always better."

"That seems like a good idea."

Without warning, the two Psychos engage in combat with the armed forces of the facility. Jared holds his two pistols, firing six rounds into four guards, taking advantage of the flaws in their armor. Jensen ducks through a hail of gunfire, punching a guard hard in his fucking chest. The man does from the blow, coughing up blood in his helmet. Jensen grins like a savage animal, ripping the arms off of another guard with his bare hands.

He's a savage beast, that's why their instructors and Kripke loved him. They loved Jared for his cold, calculating approach to battle, and the way he caused the strongest men to be driven to insanity. These two make the perfect pair, they compliment each other perfectly. A true match made in Hell, wouldn't you agree?

Jared holsters one of his pistols, tossing out his combat knife at a guard. He dies quickly, and Jared calls the blade back to him using his abilities. Telekinesis. What a lovely power. Every Psycho has it, but only Jared can utilize it the best in a fight. Also, Jared's Telekinetic ability is the strongest, which baffles the scientists and doctors back at the compound. Similarly, Jensen's strength is above and beyond all else's.

See? I told you. Match made in Hell.

Jensen fights against more guards, graphically tearing a bastard's head off in front of his comrades. They gasp in terror, unable to fathom how a mere man can do such a thing. They're in for an assload of surprises then. Jared snatches all of their hidden knife, causing them to hover next to him. He smirks, impaling a few while backflipping out of the way of incoming gunfire.

"Show off." Jensen laughs.

Jared shoots a man in his leg before shooting him twice in the crotch. "You ripped someone's head from their shoulders, Jensen, but _I'm_  the show off?"

"I love you, punk. Take cover behind me, please."

"Got a plan?"

"Kill all motherfuckers."

Jared grins. "I love it."

He rushes behind Jensen as loud gunfire is heard around them. Jared has no fear. Jensen's like a fucking tank, he can take anything thrown at him, and that includes bullets of the highest caliber. Hell, Jared witnessed him even facing off against a guy with a rocket launcher. And sure, Jensen's favorite jacket might've been ruined, but at least all his limbs were in tact.

Unlike other Psychos, Jensen can channel all his power into his physical strength. Jared wishes he was that strong.

Okay, enough exposition. Let's get to the fucking action.

The gunfire stops, and the guards in their way murmur to themselves, baffled that a man could withstand a hail of bullets. Jensen cracks his neck on both sides, grinning. He whistles to Jared, and the taller Psycho pops out from behind him, dual wielding his pistols. Each shot is fired with the intent to kill, and kill he does. He's a natural at it. It's all he's ever done!

Two more guards are left standing, and Jensen kills one, punching him once in his face. The last guard, frightened, accidentally shoots at Jared. Luckily, the Psycho is able to anticipate the direction in which the bullets travel, but he's off by just a bit, and Jared is soon shot directly in the shoulder.

"Motherfucker!" He growls.

"Jay!" Jensen rushes over to him as he falls to his knees, clutching his shoulder. "Hey, you alright?"

"I have a fucking bullet in my shoulder!"

"Okay, let me get it--"

"No, I got this..." Jared shivers, using his Psycho abilities to forcefully extract the bullet. It hovers above his palm; his blood drips from the damn thing. He glances at the man who shot him, and quickly guides the bullet through his head. "Better."

Jensen helps him stand, hand over his wound. "Gonna be okay?"

"Yes, _dad_ , I'll be fine. This isn't my first time getting shot. I'm usually more careful. God, I forgot how much it fucking hurts. It'll heal up in bit."

Psychos have the ability to heal from their wounds quicker than normal people, but I'm sure you figured that out already.

Good for you. Gold star. Want a fucking cookie? Moving on...

Our two Antiheroes continue on in the facility, kicking ass and taking names. They plow through everyone in their way, determined to put a bullet in the guy who runs the show here. He's got to have a lot of balls to even think about starting a nuclear war, and even bigger balls to build a damn bomb capable of destroying half the world.

"I have a question." Jared starts. He shoots a man in the knee, and cuts his throat in a flash.

Jensen kicks a guard in the chest through a wall, killing him. "I might have an answer."

"What kind of wedding do you want?"

"Huh?"

"What kind of wedding? Private, or what?"

"Um..." Jensen thinks about it as he snags a guard's shotgun, blasting him in the face. "I hadn't thought of it. What would you do?"

"We could like--hold on." Jared Telekinetically pulls the pins on a few guards' pulse grenades. They realize too late, and are soon vaporized by the blasts. Jensen shields him from the shockwave, and receives a kiss in return. "So, like I was saying, we could invite a few of our friends, make it a little thing."

"Jared, we don't have friends."

"What are you talking about? Sure we do."

"Who?"

"Uh, let's see...Katie! Katie Cassidy. She's our friend. And Chad. And Stephen--"

"Please don't say his name in my presence." Jensen shudders, walking alongside Jared as the alarm blares on. "Ugh. And they're _not_  our friends. They're just Psychos we grew up with. I don't even know Chad's last name."

Jared rolls his eyes, reloading his pistols. "Still, it would be nice. We can even have Eric as a guest."

"Obviously. We'll talk about this later. Come on. Time to save the world."

"We're not superheroes, Jen."

"Meh. I'm feeling a little heroic."

Jared doesn't say anything else to dispute his fiance. He only jogs with him through the facility. They're far from superheroes. They're not even villains! Jared and Jensen trek onwards towards the main fuckwad's office or whatever. When they get there, they're both surprised to see at least 20 men there, all guarding their precious leader. He's a squirrelly looking bastard with a weird mouth and shifty eyes.

Jared forgot his name, but it sounded foreign maybe? Mishka? Methuselah? Something, I don't fucking know. The point is, he's the bad guy, and also a goddamn coward, hiding behind his guards. Jared sighs, using his powers to kill the lights. In his cowardice, the man orders his guards to fire their guns in the dark. One by one they fall thanks to Jared and Jensen.

When the lights come back on, the poor, pathetic man gasps, looking around at the carnage. There's blood all over the walls and on the floor; one of his guards have been eviscerated by Jensen, hands stained red with blood. Jared inhales and exhales deeply, closing his eyes for a second. He needs a moment, just a small break. They've been fighting for a while now.

Still, Jensen picks the man up by his neck, holding him against the wall. " _You're_  the one that wants to start a nuclear war? You seem...scared."

"I--I..."

"Are you scared, little man?"

"Y--Yes!" He admits. "Let me go. Please."

Jared finally opens his eyes, coming to stand next to Jensen. "What's your name? We kinda forgot."

"Misha..."

Jensen makes a face. "Misha? Ugh. What kind of name is that? I guess it fits. You know why we're here, _Mishka?_ "

Misha nods as best as he can. "Yes...but my name is Misha--"

"Whatever. You pissed off a lot of people. They want you dead, man, including _our_  people. Now, if we don't kill you, someone else will to prevent you from blowing up the world."

"I'll stop! I won't use the bomb, I'll dismantle it! Please, I'll give you money!"

Jared perks up at the sound of that. "Money? How much?"

"Depends on how much you're getting paid."

"50 grand."

"I'll double it. It's in the safe in the corner. Let me go, and we'll work out a deal."

Hmm...

A deal. That doesn't sound too bad. Hey, as long as he stops his plans to blow up the earth, right? Jared nods to Jensen, and Jensen drops him down to the floor. Jared walks over to where the safe is, examining it. It's heavily fortified; it's got the strongest locks in existence. It would take a long time to physically open this fucking thing.

Well, guess what? Jared won't have to wait that long.

He concentrates on the locks, and they all break apart and unlock, allowing him full access. Jared looks inside of the safe. Well, shit. The damn bastard was telling the truth. Double what they were getting paid for. Jared spots a duffle bag, and takes it for himself, piling all the money inside. Once he's finished, he gestures towards Jensen, and they begin to leave.

"Well, it was a pleasure doing business with you, Miso--"

" _Misha._ "

"All the same." Jared winks at him.

"So..." Misha glances at them hopefully. "We're good?"

Jared snickers, unable to keep up the facade. "Fuck no. You were going to start a fucking nuclear holocaust. You really think we'd let you live? Jensen, be a dear please."

Jensen grins, cracking his knuckles. "Anything for you, baby."

Horrified, Misha pulls out a gun from under his desk, shooting at Jensen. The bullets have no effect, and bounce off his skin like rubber balls. When Jensen gets close to him, he snatches the gun away, crushing it. Then, he picks Misha up, pulling him apart.

In half.

Jensen ripped Misha in half like a savage barbarian. Blood splatters everywhere again, soaking Jensen. Jared's heart swells when he notices his fiance looking over at him with a cute smile. He's bloody, slightly psychotic (more than that, maybe), handsome as fuck, and all his. Jensen's willing to do anything for Jared, and he can't help but to grin and laugh like a madman along with him.

They chuckle together amongst the carnage, hugging.

Psychos, man.

Fucking Psychos.

****

Okay, so now they're back home, all clean from their bloody excursion. They're in the kitchen, drinking some beers and laughing about the old times. Jared tells a pretty funny story about how he always assumed Chad had died after leaving the compound because he never made contact with them. Turns out he was just on vacation.

Jared grabs their beer bottles, disposing them. While his back is turned, he hears Jensen call to him. "Yo, Jay?"

"What?"

Once Jared turns around, Jensen gives him a swift right hook before locking their lips together for a deep kiss. Stunned, Jared doesn't dare pull away. He falls in his trap, closing his eyes and moaning loudly when Jensen's hands grope his rear. But he does eventually pull back, panting, frowning.

"That was for leaving me for some pint-sized pixie bitch that tried to put your insides on the outside." Jensen smirks. "And how dare you think that we were anything alike. You're lucky I didn't shoot her sooner."

Jared laughs, shaking his head in delight. "Sorry. I was pretty stupid for not realizing she was playing me, huh?"

"Yup."

"You're supposed to say I wasn't."

"But you were. You were very stupid for letting her in."

"Well, wouldn't you agree that you're also stupid for realizing it the same time I did?"

"I..." Jensen holds up his index finger as if to make a rebuttal, but he falls short.

Haha. Get it?

Short.

Because he's shorter than...Jared.

What-the-fuck-ever. Just keep reading.

"Exactly." Jared smiles, putting his arms around Jensen's neck.

The green eyed Psycho scoffs. "We're two big idiots."

"Idiots in love."

"Hell yeah, though I think I prefer the term 'Psychos In Love' because that's the title."

"Title of what?"

"The story, silly."

"Story? What story? Nevermind." Jared just brushes it off as Jensen being strange as usual. He kisses him, hands on his chest. "Let me make it up to you."

Before Jensen can ask, Jared's down on his knees, unbuckling Jensen's pants. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's doing _that!_  Sweet. Jensen's not gonna complain or decline because, hey, who in their right mind would say no to a goddamn blow job? I'll tell you who. Prudes. Fucking prudes.

It's only a matter of time before Jared frees his fiance's cock from the confines of his jeans. It springs out to greet him, snacking him right on the left side of his cheek. Jared chuckles, as does Jensen, and that's when Jared puts the whole of him in his mouth, making small gagging noises in the back of his throat. Jensen moans, fingers instinctively going through Jared's hair.

"Fuck, just like that, Jay." Jensen slurs when Jared swirls his tongue around the tip and underside. "You're awesome at this. Always were."

Jensen's words stroke (AHAHAHA) Jared's ego, and he smiles internally. He works on his lover's dick dutifully, sucking better than the world's greatest whore. It continues on for some time; Jared had grabbed his own cock, fisting it with the intention of coming when Jensen does the same.

Eventually, Jensen bucks his hips forward, fucking faster into Jared's face. The taller Psycho knows what's happening, it's Jensen's telltale sign. Jared soon tastes the familiar tangy, bitter liquid on his tongue, doing all he can to swallow it all. Jensen shakes and shivers above him, groaning through his orgasm. Jared almost comes, but Jensen stops him, lifting him up on the counter.

He gets in between Jared's legs, and tears off his pants, plunging his spit slicked cock up inside of him. Jared clenches at the intense girth, wrapping his legs around his future husband's waist. Jensen picks him up again, slamming him against the refrigerator. He fucks him against it, kissing and biting Jared's lips like a sex possessed caveman with a list for guys taller than him.

Anyways, back to the fucking...

"If you keep this up..." Jared grunts, holding onto him tightly with all four limbs. "We're gonna have to buy a new fridge."

"Fuck the fridge."

"I thought you were fucking _me!_ "

"Smart." Jensen starts, punctuating each word with a deep thrust. "Ass."

Jared can feel the pressure building up inside of him, combined with the intense prodding on his prostate. His cock rubs fiercely on Jensen's shirt, and with a stuttering cry, Jared unabashedly comes between them. Jensen isn't far behind, ramming his cock home a few more times before blowing his epic load.

In their ecstasy, Jared smooches him, breathing slowly on his fiance's lips.

"I fucking love you, Jensen Ackles."

Jensen's smarmy expression is comforting. "I fucking love you too, Jared Ackles."

"Ugh. Sounds a little weird."

"Well, we can hyphenate it or something."

"Sounds like a deal. You ready for married life?"

"Only if it's with you."

Well, there you have it. Two Psychos in love, fucking and killing like it's second nature. Man, those two are officially whacked, aren't they?

At least they have each other though. That's something.

"The narrator is pissing me off..." Jensen growls, looking up at the ceiling.

Jared follows his gaze, expecting to find something, only to find nothing. "Narrator?"

"You don't hear the fucker?"

"No..."

"Hmph. Well, then."

That was close, wasn't it? See you next time, assholes. There's gonna be a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, let's talk: 
> 
> I LOVE how I'm writing this story. It's...different for me. It's silly, engaging, funny, sexy, just all around cool, right? There will be more, I promise. ❤


	3. A Super Psycho Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared and Jensen get married (obviously), and later encounter some fuckwad in a suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Lol.

It's been a while.

Another month to be exact. Jared and Jensen are getting married, and while it's not a huge event, they're doing it in style. Jared looks at himself in the mirror, admiring how his white suit perfectly defines his form. Not too tight, and not too loose. It's fitted just for him. He does, however, have a slight problem.

His hair.

There's one goddamn strand that won't stay with the rest, hanging loosely above his forehead.

"You little motherfucker..." He growls softly. "Stay up there, or I'll chop you off."

Obviously, the bastard strand does not obey him. Instead, when he tries to push it back into his hair, it pops out, hanging like a flaccid dick once again.

In his apparent (albeit misplaced) rage, Jared shatters the mirror with his Psycho abilities. This piece of shit day has to be perfect. He won't let it be anything else _but_  perfect! It's his goddamn wedding day for fuck's sake! Sure, he's been married before to a lovely--dead--woman, but looking back on it now, she really _was_  a huge bitch, and a major pain! He's kinda glad she's gone now.

Oops.

Jared huffs, smiling to himself as he finishes buttoning his suit jacket. Today is the day his life finally turns around! Today is the day he finally takes his thumb out of his ass and marries his best friend. It's been a long time coming.

Hehe.

Coming.

Do you get it?

It's a double entendre, because coming means...

You know what? Fuck you. I tell awesome jokes. I'm goddamn hilarious. I don't have to take this abuse. Keep reading.

Eventually, Jared hears a knock on the door to the room. He calls them in, and the person is revealed to be Stephen Amell. He was an awesome guy growing up. Stephen had often jumped 20 feet into the air to pluck him the first flower from the cherry blossom tree in the courtyard at the compound. He'd do a lot of awesome things to impress Jared, but then he'd get into physical and verbal altercations with Jensen.

Unlike any Psycho ever, Stephen can stun and vaporize his enemies with lightning. Fucking freaky, right? Wait, are we sure they're not superheroes? Well, okay.

The fights against Jensen and Stephen were legendary within the compound's walls. It took the strongest Mentors to break them apart each time. Eric Kripke was always on edge when it came to those three, but he loved all of his students equally.

Okay, I'm lying. He loved Jared and Jensen much more than the others. Is that a crime? Tons of parents have their favorites, and if you're a parent reading this and you say you don't have a favorite, you're not being very honest.

Moving on.

Jared smiles at Stephen's presence, turning to greet him with a hug. "I'm so happy you came."

"And miss your second wedding?" Stephen jokes, earning a playful tap on his chest. "Wouldn't dream of it. It's been a while. You look great."

"Man, I feel great. Have you checked in with Jensen? Is he alright?"

"Yeah, he was my first stop. He's fine, though he started laughing at me, saying that he won by marrying you."

Jared groans, embarrassed. "Oh, God."

Stephen laughs regardless. "Hey, it's all good. Between you and me, I was only acting the way I did when we were younger because I wanted to rile Jensen up. I'm not chasing after one of my good friends that way."

Hah! See? Look at that. Amell supporting Jared's marriage to his old rival. I bet you didn't see that coming, did ya? I bet you thought Stephen was madly in love with Jared, and wanted to fuck him hard against the mirror on his wedding day. Well, guess what? Not gonna happen.

"So, you don't find me attractive?" Jared asks, smirking.

Stephen's smile fades, and he looks Jared dead in the eye, and says, "Jared, I would personally fuck the shit out of you on that mirror if you weren't getting married today."

Well...oops. This is a little awkward now.

The Psycho with the chestnut colored hair smiles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Ooookaaay. Good to know, I guess. Just never say that again, or I'll kill you myself."

"You're just so loveable!" Stephen closes the distance between them, hugging Jared tight. Jared reciprocates the action, patting his friend gingerly on the back. "Chad and Kripke are outside, I'll send them in. Later, man."

"Later."

He watches Stephen leave, guiding in the other faces from years past. Chad Michael Murray was always Jared's favorite Psycho behind Jensen, of course. They got along well those two, taking a few missions together at 15. Chad doesn't rush into the thick of battle like everyone else. He's calculating, and quite perceptive. Usually, he avoids battle whenever he can.

All because he's smarter than any Psycho in existence. Strange, isn't it?

The guys at the compound can't comprehend how someone as laid back, lazy, and unmotivated as Chad can have such a vast, superior intellect. He's fucking crazy good with building things, often designing new weapons or gizmos to help in his battles. Chad is a fucking genius, but he acts like a stupid stoner. Jared doesn't get it, and perhaps he never really will.

And right beside Chad is the man himself. Eric Kripke, mentor, Elder of the compound, and father figure. He may have gotten older, but Jared is positive that the balding Elder can kick anyone's ass at a moment's notice. He's been a great dad to the Psychos, rewarding them when they're good, punishing them when they're little shits. Jared remembers the night he and Jensen snuck out of their dorms, and had sex on the roof, under the stars. It was their first time.

Well, Eric didn't break it up. No, not at all. He waited until they were finished. First, he high-fived them for finally getting it done, but then he forced them to stand in the courtyard overnight holding two buckets of water while standing on shaky crates.

It was fucking worth it.

Eric Kripke has forever been an awesome man to Jared and Jensen, cheering on their abnormally close relationship. Now he's here, at their wedding, getting ready to walk Jared down the aisle.

"So, you _are_  the chick." Chad snickers, hugging Jared. "I didn't doubt it for a second. Here comes the bride."

Eric sighs, grinning. "Pay him no mind. Look at my boy. Getting married. I honestly never cared about who was the one fucking, and who got fucked as long as you were happy."

"Eric..." Jared mumbles.

"I mean, obviously _you_  were the one on your back in the sack, if you catch my drift."

"Eric."

"Because let's face it: Jensen's a fucking Alpha Male. Like a savage beast. He'd fuck anything with two legs and a hole. You know, if you didn't exist."

"Eric. Kripke."

"And you? Well, with that personality and those long legs? You're doomed to have them on Jensen's shoulders for the rest of your life.--"

"We fucking switch, okay!?" Jared snaps. "He fucks me, I fuck him...occassionally."

Occasionally? Yeah, okay, Jared.

"Occasionally?" Eric says out loud. "Yeah, okay, Jared."

That was my line, fuckface. Anyways, the three of them laugh it off for the time being, and Jared prepares his vows.

Meanwhile, with crazy ass Jensen...

"This bowtie sucks." He says to Katie Cassidy. "I hate any kind of tie."

Katie scoffs, moving her long blonde hair to the side. She's awesome, wearing a lovely black dress today that might come off as a bit...well, you know. It makes her seem available, and she is! She has no man, and doesn't want one, so she actually might be looking to get laid tonight. Hopefully she goes for Amell so he stops sniffing around Jared today. It would totally blow to get blood on his new suit.

"Are you fucking telling me that Amell was flirting with Jared?" Jensen asks the ceiling.

Well--I...no. No, he didn't. I promise. And even if he _did,_  Jared turned him down. He loves you a lot, you know. Why would he go to anyone else when he has such a big, strong man who cares so much about him? Haha...ha.

Jensen frowns, but the fucking Psycho doesn't say anything else to me because he's a little bitch, and if he did, I'd erase him from existence.

Katie looks around the room, concerned. "Um...are you okay, Jen? Who are you talking to?"

"No one. No one at all."

"Oh, okay."

"Hey, can you pass me my watch please?"

"Sure thing, Freckles."

In a flash, Katie zips to the other side of the room, grabbing Jensen's expensive watch from the end table. She quickly comes back, leaving behind a puff of white smoke. Yeah, so, here's the thing about Katie. She's like...super fast. Like, literally fast. She has Super Fucking Speed, although there's more to it than that just in case I decide I wanna continue doing this shit.

Katie Cassidy is a Psycho that knows how to party, and when she does, you better get out of her way. Even Jensen can barely keep up with her. They used to do drinking games together, but she always won. I told you, she's awesome. I'm seriously concerned now at this point. It feels like I'm setting this up to be some "Not-Superheroes team up origin story". That'd be crazy though, right?

Hahah...hah...ha.

Jensen hums when she hands him his watch. "Gracias."

"So," Katie says with a wide smirk. "Got a plan for the honeymoon? What are you guys doing after the wedding?"

"Um...nothing."

Wait, nothing?

"Wait, nothing?" She frowns.

I'm getting sick of these bastards stealing my fucking lines.

"Nothing." The green eyed Psycho says with a dopey smile. "We don't have anything planned. I figured we'd just go home, watch a movie, tickle each other's balls for a while..."

"Dude, that's lame."

"I don't know, Katie. When Jared tickles my balls it gets a little fun--"

"No, just shut up a second, okay? You're already falling into the marital trap. Once you get married, all the boring shit happens. But not while I'm around. We're all going out to the bar after this. You, me, Jared, Chad, Eric, and even Stephen's goofy ass."

At the mention of his Stephen Amell, Jensen groans. Out of spite, he breaks the mirror in front of him, flicking it ever so slightly with his fingers. Jesus, what's with him and his soon to be husband breaking mirrors lately? He soon finishes dressing himself, heading out the door with Katie in tow. Well, he's gotta say it does feel good having people here at their wedding, even if they were just some people he grew up knowing.

Right now, Jensen desires one thing, and one thing only: To be with Jared again.

"You're damn right." Jensen whispers to himself.

****

Eric walks Jared down the aisle of the small church as everyone stands. Jared sees his "friends" in the front row, all together and standing up. They smile at him, eagerly waiting for the ceremony to start. But straight ahead, right up there on the alter is the priest, and Jensen, grinning as if Jared killed a thousand man, and presented their heads to him. He'd do that, and more, just for Jensen. He would do anything for the man who whisked him out of the darkness he created for himself.

"This is the happiest day of my life." Eric blubbers, eyes watering.

Jared clears his throat next to him. "Your life?"

"Yes. My boys are all grown up, and getting married. I can't believe I actually raised you two. If you think about it, you're kinda like brothers. That's incest, isn't it? It's a little hot though. I like it."

"Eric, come on. This is my wedding day..."

"I know a lot of kinky fuckers out there who'd like to see you and Jensen pretending to be brothers while doing not-so-brotherly things."

"Knock it off."

Eric eventually does, and continues to walk his "son" towards his destination. He lets Jensen take it from there, and joins the others. The priest begins the ceremony, and Jared and Jensen hold hands. This is it, isn't? The moment where they truly become one. Jared doesn't exactly believe in fate, but Jensen does. Why?

Because I forced him to. If you haven't noticed by now, Jensen is aware of my presence, which makes this a little difficult. If I say the wrong things, he could become a little...agitated. Oh, but don't worry. He can't hurt me, or you for that matter. Not if he wants all his limbs in tact.

Jensen cracks his neck, quietly brooding. "I will end you."

"Stop talking to yourself." Jared whispers. "You sound crazy."

"I am crazy, but that goddamn voice..."

"Get your head in the game, Ackles. You're getting married right now. Literally right this moment."

"Are you ready to take this leap of faith with me?" Jensen mutters. "You can say no if you want. But fair warning: if you run away--again--I'll totally hunt you down, grab you by the neck, and drag your ass back here. Wanna know why?"

"I'm sure you're gonna tell me in a second--"

"Because I'm madly in love with you, and I'm also stronger."

Jared smirks, fighting the urge to bring down the entire church around their ears. "Physically."

I love when they banter, dont you? They love each other so much, fighting and fucking and killing and singing as their victims die brutal, bloody deaths. Yeah, these Psychos might actually be a little...um...psychotic. Just a little? Haha, no. They're fucking insane, but hey, sanity is vastly overrated anyways. I say they're perfect the way they are.

All too soon, the priest finishes his speech, and directs Jensen to give his vows. The shorter Psycho pulls out a piece of paper and his reading glasses from his suit jacket pocket. He reads from it with a smile.

"Jared, you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. My earliest memory of you was when we were four years old, training with BB guns. You cried when you couldn't hit the target, so I stopped what I was doing to help you out. I told you, 'Jay, it's okay. Relax. Focus. Think of a bad man taking me away.' I guess you took my advice to heart because from that day forward, every single shot you made was either a headshot, or one to the heart."

Jared chuckles at the memory, as does Eric who was there that day. He was always there, always watching over his boys. He really was like a father to them. In any case, Jensen presses on.

"My favorite memory that I have with you is the moment we got our first house after leaving the compound. I saw the stars in your eyes, the excitement of knowing that we were on our own and we had _something_  together. Damn, I remember fucking you so good in the shower that night, feeling you come around my--"

The priest clears his throat, tugging at his collar. It's an obvious sign that means "Watch your fucking mouth, and let's get this over with." Jensen, while slightly peeved that the man interrupted him, obeys his silent order.

"You're the only true love of my life, and if I were you, I'd think twice about flirting with women half your size."

Well then.

That was, um...beautiful, I guess? Hey, good job, Smackles. At least you got your point across while being the crude son of a bitch I know you are.

Anyways, after Jensen finishes his vows, Jared takes the notes he has written out of his pants pocket. Jared's visibly nervous, but he sucks it all down, just like he's used to in the bedroom.

I'm hilarious, I know.

"Jensen," Jared starts. "You have been a raging pain in my ass since we first learned how to talk--"

"Dude, what the fuck? Those are your vows?"

"Just listen, okay? It get better. So...you've been a pain for a long time. You've always followed me around, never stopping. We shared a dorm for a while, so it was hard to escape you. You did a lot of crazy shit for me. Hell, you shot my first wife in her fucking face. That was--yeah."

Jensen pouts, frowning. But then Jared smiles, and his frown soon melts away.

"But I love you, Psycho. I wouldn't trade you for anything, and I'm sorry I chose a stupid assassin bitch over you. Maybe one day you'll stop hanging over my head, and forgive me."

"I already forgive you, Bigfoot."

The priest sighs. "I now pronounce you--"

"Save it." Jensen smirks, grabbing Jared by the waist. "Come e're, darlin'."

Jensen kisses Jared. Their guests all stand, clapping and hooting for them. In this moment, Jensen is perfectly happy. There's no place he'd rather be than with his now husband. All this time, he's been chasing after Jared, expecting to find himself in this exact spot one day, and now that day has come. Feeling nothing but overwhelming joy, and love, and promises of--

"Hey!" Jensen yells, looking up. "Shut the fuck up!"

No, _you_  shut the fuck up.

"I don't need you telling my goddamn fucking story when I'm right here living it!"

Well, I'm not talking to you, asshole. I'm talking to the readers.

"What fucking readers? Who's reading this shit, this is _my_  life, you dicks!"

"Jensen, stop yelling at him..." Jared commands.

"Wait, so you  _can_ hear him!?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why haven't you told me!?"

"I thought it was funny."

Jensen seethes in anger, throwing out obscenities into the wind.

Ugh. See? There he goes again, always ruining a great moment. Let's just go to the next scene as everyone stares at Jensen like he's nuts.

****

They're all at the bar now, drinking and laughing, reminiscing about past misadventures and botched missions. Katie tells a story--as she downs het fifth drink--about how she single handedly took down a European diplomat while being naked and handcuffed with no tools at her disposal. Stephen made a crude joke about her being handcuffed and naked in his hotel room, to which she responded by "accidentally" spilling her drink in his lap.

Well, I guess he's not getting laid after all. Soon, Eric's phone buzzes in his pocket. He takes the device out, checking the damn thing. It's a text message. He sighs, setting the phone on the table.

"We're gonna have a visitor at our booth soon enough."

Jensen takes a shot, wincing at the hard burn in his throat. "Anyone we know?"

"Nah, just...an old friend. Yeah, let's call him that. So, how's it feel to get married? I'm so happy for you two. I always knew my boys would find love. My favorite boys."

Chad pouts. "Ouch, Eric, way to sugarcoat it."

Katie flips her hair, chasing Jensen after the next shot. "He said boys, so I'm all good here."

"You're not my favorite girl, Cassidy." Kripke hums, picking dirt under his nails.

"Grrr, you old bastard."

Jared laughs at the table's antics, but promptly answers the original question. "It feels great. Like I've walked through this door blindfolded and I'm seeing everything so clearly now. It's amazing."

"And you, Jensen?"

"Meh. Feels the same. Nothing's changed." Jared taps Jensen lightly on the back of his head, making him spill a little of his drink. "Hey--what, I'm being truthful. Isn't that what marriage is about?"

"Whatever." The brunette snickers.

Eventually, someone enters the shit hole of a bar. The bell chimes above the door, alerting everyone present. They all look towards the entrance, spotting a tall man with a salt and pepper beard in a black suit holding an envelope. Jared squints his eyes at the man. He knows the look on him, and it doesn't help that he's perceptive as all fuck. The man's a fucking federal agent. NSA, FBI, Homeland Security, _something,_  but he is not a regular man.

Once the man sees Eric, he smiles, bright, white teeth nearly blinding them all. Eric gestures him to join them, and the man makes his way over to the group. Jensen, also a bit put off by the man's sudden appearance, pulls Jared a little closer to him. I don't blame him honestly. Who's this random dude, and why does he know Eric? Why's he dressed like a fed? I know the answers, and soon you will too. Now, relax.

"Kripke," the man says. "You're looking well."

Eric smiles at the man, standing up to greet him. "I feel well, my friend. My boys got married today."

The man follows where Eric is pointing, smiling at Jared and Jensen. "I know. I saw. Congratulations. You two look good together."

"Who are you, and what do you want?" Jared asks harshly.

Jensen tilts his head to the side. "Yeah, what this tall glass of 'fuck me' just said."

"Oh, straight to the point, huh? Right down to business?" The man chuckles, moving his suit jacket to the side. His badge his on his belt, and Jared's suspicions are suddenly confirmed. "I'm Special Agent Morgan, Mr. Padalecki."

"Padalecki-Ackles, thank you very much."

"Right."

Jensen glares at him. "Who do you work for?"

"Well, we'll get to that later." Agent Morgan places his envelope on the table, sliding it to Jared and Jensen. "Right now, I'm here to give you an offer to be a part of something bigger than yourself. An offer you can't refuse. We've known all about your compound since its inception. Who do you think funded the damn thing?"

Jared takes the envelope, opening it up. Inside, he finds files on himself, Jensen, Stephen, Katie, and even Chad. I love pictures included of them doing simple mundane things such as cooking, cleaning, beheading the Queen of England's body double. Ya know, stuff like that. But also inside the envelope is a detailed description of a government experiment. A sort of drill, maybe even a--

"Operation: Super Psycho Soldier?" Jared states at the file quizzically, eyebrow up in thought. "What is this?"

Agent Morgan smiles. "What's it look like? Your country--Hell, maybe even the world--need you. All five of you. What we need is a team of Psychos. There's a new threat on the horizon."

"This is some comic book fucked up shit." Chad huffs.

Jensen makes a noise in approval, taking yet another shot. "Yup, I agree. We're not fucking superheroes, pal."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly the bad guys either, so it's a step in the right goddamn direction." Agent Morgan's smile fades, and it seems that he has put his foot down. "Don't think I'm giving you Psychos a choice. You kill off whoever pays the most. As soon as the check clears, it's fair game, right? Not anymore. I was told that if you lot say no, this place goes up in flames. Oh, don't think you can get out of this, Jenny Bean. We have toys that can cut through you like butter."

Jensen growls, crushing his glass with ease. The shards bounce off his skin, doing no real damage. Yeah, I feel him on that one. They're given no real choice here, are they? It's either join the government, or perish in a fiery explosion while Jensen gets sliced through like he's butter against a scorching hot knife! Jared watches his friends deliberate as Eric stays silent. He wonders how his mentor knows this guy, but he won't ask. Not right now.

It's a tough decision, but at the end of it all, it truly is an offer they cannot refuse. Jared would rather not have his nearly indestructible husband die because he said no to a fed in a fancy suit. So, after re-reading over the files with the others, Jared makes his decision.

"Go fuck yourself."

No, wait. That's not the right one, Jared!

Jensen nudges him in the side, berating him. "What he means to say is, um...when do we start?"

Agent Morgan takes the envelope from them, and pulls out his cellphone. He looks at it for a moment, then answers the question. "Tomorrow morning. You'll all be here, dressed and ready to go. Remember that you'll be doing all of us a great service. We precision support,"

Stephen nods.

"Quick reflexes,"

Katie belches, popping the cap on another beer.

"An inventor,"

Chad grins.

"Brute strength,"

Jensen scoffs.

"And a tactful leader,"

Jared crosses his arms.

Agent Morgan clasps a hand on Eric's shoulder, taking his leave. Once he exits the bar, everyone looks up at their mentor, some more pointedly than others. Eric smiles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. He quickly snags his drink, guzzling it all down in one go.

"So," He chuckles. "Superheroes..."

Jensen stands up, hands balled up into fists. "What the fu--"

**The End**

(At least for now...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...there you have it! Jared and Jensen and the gang belong to the government, and are kinda like superheroes now. 
> 
> Dear Christ, we're all doomed.


End file.
